Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
