Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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