I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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