she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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