I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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