absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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