You just made me feel so damn special
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
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While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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