I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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