Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
