We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
