If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
