You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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