just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
