We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
