the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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