please come you make the beer taste better
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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