woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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