All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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