Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have fence marks all over my body
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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