Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza