Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon http://tfl.nu/qfy4
  Replies (21) Good night (726) Bad night (1633)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!! http://tfl.nu/qcph
  Replies (42) Good night (1192) Bad night (20426)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine. http://tfl.nu/pias
  Replies (11) Good night (4810) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He went soft

  (631): View more from New York

  Wait. During?

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He went soft (631): Wait. During? (260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/18lb
  Replies (99) Good night (1046) Bad night (16132)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing. http://tfl.nu/wqpy
  Replies (7) Good night (4261) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other. http://tfl.nu/3et0
  Replies (6) Good night (3037) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls. http://tfl.nu/n0fo
  Replies (7) Good night (2506) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip. http://tfl.nu/lk0s
  Replies (8) Good night (1983) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/j7y2
  Replies (4) Good night (3037) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people http://tfl.nu/4rzl
  Replies (8) Good night (1984) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know http://tfl.nu/1og0
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1755) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected. http://tfl.nu/x54o
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed http://tfl.nu/ihu1
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there. http://tfl.nu/mol4
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (151)

Randomize