On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime