Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Good thing I've started drinking again