he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
