It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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