she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
