I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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