Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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