That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize