I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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