I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize