woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ttyl tear gas
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
