I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize