I'm so fucking centered right now
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
