I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
