i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
