The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
