No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
