i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you win again, gameday.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
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My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.