Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?