I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i believe in u and ur pee
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
