This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
