I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you never un-have a 4some
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
