Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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