Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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