He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
