I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
