i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
