Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
