I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize