Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize