So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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