i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
