Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
