There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
