Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
