I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
