Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
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My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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