I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
