OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
